Magic: The Gathering - Unhinged http://www.magicthegathering.com/ Card Name: Cost: 1U Type: Creature — Shapeshifter Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: 1: This card's name becomes the name of your choice. Play this ability anywhere, anytime. Flavor Text: 1: This card’s flavor text becomes the flavor text of your choice. (This ability doesn’t work because it’s flavor text, not rules text (but neither does this reminder text, so you figure it out).) Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Aesthetic Consultation Cost: B Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Name an artist. Remove the top six cards of your library from the game, then reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a card by the named artist. Put that card in your hand, then remove all the other cards revealed this way from the game. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Ambiguity Cost: 2UU Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Whenever a player plays a spell that counters a spell that has been played or a player plays a spell that comes into play with counters, that player may counter the next spell played or put an additional counter on a permanent that has already been played, but not countered. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Artful Looter Cost: 2U Type: Creature — Human Wizard Pow/Tgh: 1/2 Rules Text: T: Draw a card, then discard a card. Whenever a permanent comes into play that shares an artist with another permanent you control, untap Artful Looter. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Ass Whuppin' Cost: 1WB Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Destroy target silver-bordered permanent in any game you can see from your seat. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Assquatch Cost: 4R Type: Creature — Donkey Lord Pow/Tgh: 3{1/2}/3{1/2} Rules Text: Each other Donkey gets +11/2/+11/2. Whenever another Donkey comes into play, untap target creature and gain control of it until end of turn. That creature gains haste until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Atinlay Igpay Cost: 5W Type: Eaturecray — Igpay Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Oubleday ikestray Eneverwhay Atinlay Igpay's ontrollercay eaksspay ay onnay-Igpay-Atinlay ordway, acrificesay Atinlay Igpay. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Avatar of Me Cost: 2UU Type: Creature — Avatar Pow/Tgh: */* Rules Text: Avatar of Me costs 1 more to play for each ten years you've been alive. Avatar of Me's power is equal to your height in feet and its toughness is equal to your American shoe size. Round to the nearest 1/2. Avatar of Me's color is the color of your eyes. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: AWOL Cost: 2W Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Remove target attacking creature from the game. Then remove it from the removed-from-game zone and put it into the absolutely-removed-from-the-freaking-game-forever zone. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Bad Ass Cost: 2BB Type: Creature — Donkey Zombie Pow/Tgh: 3{1/2}/1 Rules Text: 1B, Growl: Regenerate Bad Ass. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: B-I-N-G-O Cost: 1G Type: Creature — Hound Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Trample Whenever a player plays a spell, put a chip counter on its converted mana cost. B-I-N-G-O gets +9/+9 for each set of three numbers in a row with chip counters on them. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Blast from the Past Cost: 2R Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Madness R, cycling 1R, kicker 2R, flashback 3R, buyback 4R Blast from the Past deals 2 damage to target creature or player. If the kicker cost was paid, put a 1/1 red Goblin creature token into play. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Bloodletter Cost: 2B Type: Creature — Zombie Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: When the names of three or more nonland permanents begin with the same letter, sacrifice Bloodletter. If you do, it deals 2 damage to each creature and each player. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Booster Tutor Cost: B Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Open a sealed Magic booster pack, reveal the cards, and put one of those cards into your hand. (Remove that card from your deck before beginning a new game.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Bosom Buddy Cost: 3W Type: Creature — Elephant Townsfolk Pow/Tgh: 1/4 Rules Text: Whenever you play a spell, you may gain 1/2 life for each word in that spell's name. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Brushstroke Paintermage Cost: 3U Type: Creature — Human Wizard Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: T: Target permanent's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Bursting Beebles Cost: 2U Type: Creature — Beeble Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Bursting Beebles is unblockable as long as defending player controls two or more nonland permanents that share an artist. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Cardpecker Cost: 1W Type: Creature — Bird Pow/Tgh: 1{1/2}/1 Rules Text: Flying Gotcha — Whenever an opponent touches the table with his or her hand, you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Cardpecker from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Carnivorous Death-Parrot Cost: 1U Type: Creature — Bird Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Flying At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice Carnivorous Death-Parrot unless you say its flavor text. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Cheap Ass Cost: 1W Type: Creature — Donkey Townsfolk Pow/Tgh: 1/3{1/2} Rules Text: Spells you play cost 1/2 less to play. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Cheatyface Cost: UUU Type: Creature — Efreet Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: You may sneak Cheatyface into play at any time without paying for it, but if an opponent catches you right away, that player may remove Cheatyface from the game. Flying Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Circle of Protection: Art Cost: 1W Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As Circle of Protection: Art comes into play, choose an artist. 1W: The next time a source of your choice by the chosen artist would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage. 1W: Return Circle of Protection: Art to its owner's hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: City of Ass Cost: Type: Land Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: City of Ass comes into play tapped. T: Add one and one-half mana of any one color to your mana pool. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Collector Protector Cost: 3WW Type: Creature — Human Gamer Pow/Tgh: 2/5 Rules Text: W, Give an opponent a nonland card you own from outside the game: Prevent the next 1 damage that would be dealt to you or Collector Protector this turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Creature Guy Cost: 3G Type: Creature — Beast Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says "Creature" or "Guy," you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Creature Guy from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Curse of the Fire Penguin Cost: 4RR Type: Enchant Creature Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Curse of the Fire Penquin consumes and confuses enchanted creature. ----- Creature — Penguin Trample When this creature is put into a graveyard from play, return Curse of the Fire Penguin from your graveyard to play. 6/5 Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Deal Damage Cost: 2RR Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Deal Damage deals 4 damage to target creature or player. Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says "Deal" or "Damage," you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Deal Damage from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Double Header Cost: 3UU Type: Creature — Drake Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: Flying When Double Header comes into play, you may return target permanent with a two-word name to its owner's hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Drawn Together Cost: 2WW Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As Drawn Together comes into play, choose an artist. Creatures by the chosen artist get +2/+2. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Duh Cost: B Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Destroy target creature with reminder text. (Reminder text is any italicized text in parentheses that explains rules you already know.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Dumb Ass Cost: 2R Type: Creature — Donkey Barbarian Pow/Tgh: 3{1/2}/2 Rules Text: At the beginning of your upkeep, flip a coin. If you lose the flip, target opponent chooses whether Dumb Ass attacks this turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Elvish House Party Cost: 4GG Type: Creature — Elf Rogue Pow/Tgh: */* Rules Text: Elvish House Party's power and toughness are each equal to the current hour, using the twelve-hour system. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Emcee Cost: 2W Type: Creature — Human Rogue Pow/Tgh: 0/1 Rules Text: Whenever another creature comes into play, you may stand up and say in a deep, booming voice "Presenting . . . " and that creature's name. If you do, put a +1/+1 counter on that creature. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Enter the Dungeon Cost: BB Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Players play a Magic subgame under the table starting at 5 life, using their libraries as their decks. After the subgame ends, the winner searches his or her library for two cards, puts those cards into his or her hand, then shuffles his or her library. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One) Cost: 2W Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: If you control two or more white permanents that share an artist, you may play Erase (Not the Urza's Legacy One) without paying its mana cost. Remove target enchantment from the game. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Eye to Eye Cost: 2B Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: You and target creature's controller have a staring contest. If you win, destroy that creature. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Face to Face Cost: 1R Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: You and target opponent play a best two-out-of-three Rock, Paper, Scissors match. If you win, Face to Face deals 5 damage to that opponent. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Farewell to Arms Cost: 1BB Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As Farewell to Arms comes into play, choose a hand attached to an opponent's arm. When the chosen hand isn't behind its owner's back, sacrifice Farewell to Arms. If you do, that player discards his or her hand . . . of cards. (The lawyers wouldn't let us do it the other way.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Fascist Art Director Cost: 1WW Type: Creature — Human Horror Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: WW: Fascist Art Director gains protection from the artist of your choice until end of turn.. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Fat Ass Cost: 4G Type: Creature — Donkey Shaman Pow/Tgh: 2/3{1/2} Rules Text: Fat Ass gets +2/+2 and has trample as long as you're eating. (Food is in your mouth and you're chewing, licking, sucking, or swallowing it.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: First Come, First Served Cost: 1W Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: The attacking or blocking creature with the lowest collector number has first strike. If two or more creatures are tied, they all have first strike. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Flaccify Cost: 2U Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Counter target spell unless its controller pays 31/2. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Forest Cost: Type: Basic Land — Forest Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: [G] Set/Rarity: Basic land Card Name: Form of the Squirrel Cost: G Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As Form of the Squirrel comes into play, put a 1/1 green Squirrel creature token into play. You lose the game when it leaves play. Creatures can't attack you. You can't be the target of spells or abilities. You can't play spells. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Fraction Jackson Cost: 2G Type: Creature — Human Hero Pow/Tgh: 1/1{1/2} Rules Text: G, T: Return target card with a 1/2 on it from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Framed! Cost: 1U Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Tap or untap all permanents by the artist of your choice. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Frankie Peanuts Cost: 2WW Type: Legendary Creature — Elephant Rogue Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: At the beginning of your upkeep, you may ask target player a yes-or-no question. If you do, that player answers the question truthfully and abides by that answer if able until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Frazzled Editor Cost: 1R Type: Creature — Human Bureaucrat Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Protection from wordy (Something is wordy if it has four or more lines of text in its text box.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Gleemax Cost: 1,000,000 Type: Legendary Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: You choose all targets for all spells and abilities. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Gluetius Maximus Cost: 3GG Type: Creature — Beast Pow/Tgh: 5/5 Rules Text: As Gluetius Maximus comes into play, an opponent chooses one of your fingers. (Thumbs are fingers, too.) When the chosen finger isn't touching Gluetius Maximus, sacrifice Gluetius Maximus. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Goblin Mime Cost: 1R Type: Creature — Goblin Mime Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: When you speak, sacrifice Goblin Mime. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Goblin S.W.A.T. Team Cost: 3R Type: Creature — Goblin Warrior Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Say "Goblin S.W.A.T. Team": Put a +1/+1 counter on Goblin S.W.A.T. Team unless an opponent swats the table within five seconds. Play this ability only once each turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Goblin Secret Agent Cost: 2R Type: Creature — Goblin Rogue Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: First strike At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal a card from your hand at random. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Granny's Payback Cost: 7G Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: You gain life equal to your age. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Graphic Violence Cost: 2G Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: All creatures by the artist of your choice get +2/+2 and gain trample until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Greater Morphling Cost: 6UU Type: Creature — Shapeshifter Pow/Tgh: 5/5 Rules Text: 2: Greater Morphling gains your choice of banding, bushido 1, double strike, fear, flying, first strike, haste, landwalk of your choice, protection from a color of your choice, provoke, rampage 1, shadow, or trample until end of turn. 2: Greater Morphling becomes the colors of your choice until end of turn. 2: Greater Morphling's type becomes the creature type of your choice until end of turn. 2: Greater Morphling's expansion symbol becomes the symbol of your choice until end of turn. 2: Greater Morphling's artist becomes the artist of your choice until end of turn. 2: Greater Morphling gets +2/-2 or -2/+2 until end of turn. 2: Untap Greater Morphling. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Head to Head Cost: W Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: You and target opponent play Seven Questions about the top card of that player's library. (That player looks at the card, then you ask up to six yes-or-no questions about the card that he or she answers truthfully. You guess the card's name—that's question seven—and the player reveals the card.) If you win, prevent all damage that would be dealt this turn by a source of your choice. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil Cost: 8BB Type: Creature — Demon Child Pow/Tgh: 8/8 Rules Text: Flying, first strike, trample If you say "I'm coming, too!" as you search your library, you may pay 1B and reveal Infernal Spawn of Infernal Spawn of Evil from your library to have it deal 2 damage to a player of your choice. Do this no more than once each turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Island Cost: Type: Basic Land — Island Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: [U] Set/Rarity: Basic land Card Name: Johnny, Combo Player Cost: 2UU Type: Legendary Creature — Human Gamer Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: 4: Search your library for a card and put that card into your hand. Then shuffle your library. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Keeper of the Sacred Word Cost: 2G Type: Creature — Human Druid Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: As Keeper of the Sacred Word comes into play, choose a word. Whenever an opponent says the chosen word, Keeper of the Sacred Word gets +3/+3 until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Kill! Destroy! Cost: 1BB Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Destroy target nonblack creature. Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says "Kill" or "Destroy," you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Kill! Destroy! from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Ladies' Knight Cost: 3W Type: Creature — Human Knight Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Flying Spells that players wearing at least one item of women's clothing play cost 1 less to play. (Women's clothing is designed to be worn exclusively by women.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Land Aid '04 Cost: GG Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Search your library for a basic land card, put that card into play tapped, then shuffle your library. If you sang a song the whole time you were searching and shuffling, you may untap that land. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Laughing Hyena Cost: 1G Type: Creature — Hyena Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Gotcha — Whenever an opponent laughs, you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Laughing Hyena from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Letter Bomb Cost: 6 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: When Letter Bomb comes into play, sign it and shuffle it into target player's library. That player reveals each card he or she draws until Letter Bomb is drawn. When that player draws Letter Bomb, it deals 191/2 damage to him or her. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Little Girl Cost: W (half) Type: Creature — Human Child Pow/Tgh: {1/2}/{1/2} Rules Text: Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Look at Me, I'm R&D Cost: 2W Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As Look at Me, I'm R&D comes into play, choose a number and a second number one higher or one lower than that number. All instances of the first chosen number on permanents, spells, and cards in any zone are the second chosen number. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Loose Lips Cost: U Type: Enchant Creature Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As Loose Lips comes into play, choose a sentence with eight or fewer words. Enchanted creature has flying. Whenever enchanted creature deals damage to an opponent, you draw two cards unless that player says the chosen sentence. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Magical Hacker Cost: 1U Type: Creature — Human Gamer Pow/Tgh: 1/2 Rules Text: U: Change the text of target spell or permanent by replacing all instances of + with -, and vice versa, until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Man of Measure Cost: 1WW Type: Creature — Human Knight Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: As long as you're shorter than an opponent, Man of Measure has first strike and gets +0/+1. As long as you're taller than an opponent, Man of Measure gets +1/+0. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Mana Flair Cost: 1R Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Add R to your mana pool for each nonland permanent by the artist of your choice. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Mana Screw Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: 1: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, add 2 to your mana pool. Play this ability only any time you could play an instant. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Meddling Kids Cost: 2WU Type: Creature — Human Child Pow/Tgh: 2/3 Rules Text: As Meddling Kids comes into play, choose a word with four or more letters. Nonland cards with the chosen word in their text box can't be played. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Mise Cost: U Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Name a nonland card, then reveal the top card of your library. If that card is the named card, draw three cards. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Moniker Mage Cost: 2U Type: Creature — Human Wizard Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: U, Say your middle name: Moniker Mage can't be the target of spells or abilities this turn. U, Say an opponent's middle name: Moniker Mage gains flying until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Monkey Monkey Monkey Cost: 3G Type: Creature — Ape Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: As Monkey Monkey Monkey comes into play, choose a letter. Monkey Monkey Monkey gets +1/+1 for each nonland permanent whose name begins with the chosen letter. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Mons's Goblin Waiters Cost: R Type: Creature — Goblin Waiter Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: Sacrifice a creature or land: Add 1/2*R to your mana pool. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Mother of Goons Cost: 2B Type: Creature — Human Cleric Pow/Tgh: 3/2 Rules Text: Whenever a creature an opponent controls is put into a graveyard from play, sacrifice Mother of Goons unless you insult that creature. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Mountain Cost: Type: Basic Land — Mountain Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: [R] Set/Rarity: Basic land Card Name: Mouth to Mouth Cost: 3U Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: You and target opponent have a breath-holding contest. If you win, you gain control of target creature that player controls. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Mox Lotus Cost: 15 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: T: Add [infinite colorless mana] to your mana pool. 100: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool. You don't lose life due to mana burn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: My First Tome Cost: 3 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: 1, T: Say the flavor text on a card in your hand. Target opponent guesses that card's name. You may reveal that card. If you do and your opponent guessed wrong, draw a card. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Name Dropping Cost: 1G Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says a word that's in the name of a card in your graveyard, you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return that card to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Necro-Impotence Cost: BBB Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Skip your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay X life. If you do, untap X permanents. Pay 1/2 life: Remove the top card of your library from the game face down. Put that card into your hand at end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Now I Know My ABC's Cost: 1UU Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: At the beginning of your upkeep, if you control permanents with names that include all twenty-six letters of the English alphabet, you win the game. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Number Crunch Cost: 2U Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Return target permanent to its owner's hand. Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says a number, you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Number Crunch from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Old Fogey Cost: GG Type: Summon Dinosaur Pow/Tgh: 7/7 Rules Text: Phasing, cumulative upkeep 1, echo, fading 3, bands with other Dinosaurs, protection from Homarids, snow-covered plainswalk, flanking, rampage 2 Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Orcish Paratroopers Cost: 2R Type: Creature — Orc Paratrooper Pow/Tgh: 4/4 Rules Text: When Orcish Paratroopers comes into play, flip it from a height of at least one foot. Sacrifice Orcish Paratroopers unless it lands face up after turning over completely. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Our Market Research Shows That Players Like Really Long Card Names So We Made this Card to Have the Absolute Longest Card Name Ever Elemental Cost: 1GG Type: Creature — Elemental Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: Art rampage 2 (Whenever this becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +2/+2 for each creature in the blocker's art beyond the first.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Persecute Artist Cost: 1BB Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Choose an artist other than Rebecca Guay. Target player reveals his or her hand and discards all nonland cards by the chosen artist. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Phyrexian Librarian Cost: 3B Type: Creature — Horror Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Flying, trample At the beginning of your upkeep, remove the top card of your library from the game face up and balance it on your body. When a balanced card falls or touches another balanced card, sacrifice Phyrexian Librarian. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Plains Cost: Type: Basic Land — Plains Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: [W] Set/Rarity: Basic land Card Name: Pointy Finger of Doom Cost: 4 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: 3, T: Spin Pointy Finger of Doom in the middle of the table so that it rotates completely at least once, then destroy the closest permanent the finger points to. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Punctuate Cost: 3R Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Punctuate deals damage to target creature equal to half the number of punctuation marks in that creature's text box. (The punctuation marks are ! ? , ; : - — ( ) / " ' & .) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Pygmy Giant Cost: 1RR Type: Creature — Giant Pow/Tgh: 0/2 Rules Text: R, T, Sacrifice a creature: Pygmy Giant deals X damage to target creature, where X is a number in the sacrificed creature's text box. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Question Elemental? Cost: 2UU Type: Creature — Elemental Pow/Tgh: 3/4 Rules Text: Flying Are you aware that when you say something that isn't a question, the player who first points out this fact gains control of Question Elemental? Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: R&D's Secret Lair Cost: Type: Legendary Land Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Play cards as written. Ignore all errata. T: Add 1 to your mana pool. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Rare-B-Gone Cost: 2BR Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Each player sacrifices all rare permanents, then reveals his or her hand and discards all rare cards. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Red-Hot Hottie Cost: 2RR Type: Creature — Elemental Pow/Tgh: 2/5 Rules Text: Whenever Red-Hot Hottie deals damage to a creature, put a third-degree-burn counter on that creature. It has "At the end of each turn, sacrifice this creature unless you scream 'Aaah!' at the top of your lungs." Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Remodel Cost: 2G Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: If you control two or more green permanents that share an artist, you may play Remodel without paying its mana cost. Remove target artifact from the game. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Richard Garfield, Ph.D. Cost: 3UU Type: Legendary Creature — Human Designer Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: You may play cards as though they were other Magic cards of your choice with the same mana cost. (Mana cost includes color.) You can't choose the same card twice. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Rocket-Powered Turbo Slug Cost: 3R Type: Creature — Slug Pow/Tgh: 3/1 Rules Text: Super haste (This may attack the turn before you play it. (You may put this card into play from your hand, tapped and attacking, during your declare attackers step. If you do, you lose the game at the end of your next turn unless you pay this card's mana cost during that turn.)) Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Rod of Spanking Cost: 1 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: 2, T: Rod of Spanking deals 1 damage to target player. Then untap Rod of Spanking unless that player says "Thank you, sir. May I have another?" Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: S.N.O.T. Cost: G Type: Creature — Ooze Pow/Tgh: *{^2}/*{^2} Rules Text: As S.N.O.T. comes into play, you may stick it onto another creature named S.N.O.T. in play. If you do, all those creatures form a single creature. S.N.O.T.'s power and toughness are equal to the square of the number of S.N.O.T.s stuck together. (One is a 1/1, two are a 4/4, three are a 9/9, and four are a 16/16.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Sautι Cost: 1RR Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Sautι deals 31/2 damage to target creature or player. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Save Life Cost: W Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Choose one — Target player gains 21/2 life; or prevent the next 21/2 damage that would be dealt to target creature this turn. Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says "Save" or "Life," you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Save Life from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Shoe Tree Cost: 4G Type: Creature — Treefolk Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Shoe Tree comes into play with up to two shoe counters on it. Use your shoes as counters. Shoe Tree gets +1/+1 for each shoe counter on it. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Side to Side Cost: 2G Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: You and target opponent arm-wrestle. If you win, put a 3/3 green Ape creature token into play. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Six-y Beast Cost: 3R Type: Creature — Beast Pow/Tgh: 0/0 Rules Text: As Six-y Beast comes into play, you secretly put six or fewer +1/+1 counters on it, then an opponent guesses the number of counters. If that player guesses right, sacrifice Six-y Beast. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Smart Ass Cost: 2U Type: Creature — Donkey Wizard Pow/Tgh: 2{1/2}/1 Rules Text: Whenever Smart Ass attacks, name a card. Defending player may reveal his or her hand and show you that the named card isn't there. If that player doesn't, Smart Ass is unblockable this turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Spell Counter Cost: 2UU Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Counter target spell. Gotcha — Whenever an opponent says "Spell" or "Counter," you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Spell Counter from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Standing Army Cost: 2WW Type: Creature — Human Soldier Pow/Tgh: 2/4 Rules Text: As long as you're standing, Standing Army has vigilance. (Attacking doesn't cause it to tap.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Staying Power Cost: 2W Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As long as Staying Power is in play, "until end of turn" and "this turn" effects don't end. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Stone-Cold Basilisk Cost: 4G Type: Creature — Basilisk Pow/Tgh: 2{1/2}/5 Rules Text: Whenever Stone-Cold Basilisk blocks or becomes blocked by a creature with fewer letters in its name, destroy that creature at end of combat. (Punctuation and spaces aren't letters.) Whenever an opponent reads Stone-Cold Basilisk, that player is turned to stone until end of turn. Stoned players can't attack, block, or play spells or abilities. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Stop That Cost: B Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Target player discards a card. Gotcha — Whenever an opponent audibly flicks the cards in his or her hand, you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Stop That from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Supersize Cost: 1G Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Target creature gets +31/2/+31/2 until end of turn. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Swamp Cost: Type: Basic Land — Swamp Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: [B] Set/Rarity: Basic land Card Name: Symbol Status Cost: 2GG Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Put a 1/1 colorless Expansion-Symbol creature token into play for each different expansion symbol among permanents you control. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Tainted Monkey Cost: 1B Type: Creature — Ape Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: T: Choose a word. Target player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her graveyard. If that card has the chosen word in its text box, that player loses 3 life. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: The Fallen Apart Cost: 2BB Type: Creature — Zombie Pow/Tgh: 4/4 Rules Text: The Fallen Apart comes into play with two arms and two legs. Whenever damage is dealt to The Fallen Apart, remove an arm or a leg from it. The Fallen Apart can't attack if it has no legs and can't block if it has no arms. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Time Machine Cost: 5 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: T: Remove Time Machine and target nontoken creature you own from the game. Return both cards to play at the beginning of your upkeep on your turn X of the next game you play with the same opponent, where X is the removed creature's converted mana cost. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Togglodyte Cost: 3 Type: Artifact Creature — Golem Pow/Tgh: 4/4 Rules Text: Togglodyte comes into play turned on. Whenever a player plays a spell, toggle Togglodyte's ON/OFF switch. As long as Togglodyte is turned off, it can't attack or block, and all damage it would deal is prevented. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Topsy Turvy Cost: 2U Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: The phases of each player's turn are reversed. (The phases are, in reverse order, end, postcombat main, combat, precombat main, and beginning.) If there are more than two players in the game, the turn order is reversed. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Touch and Go Cost: 3R Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Destroy target land. Gotcha — Whenever an opponent touches his or her face, you may say "Gotcha!" If you do, return Touch and Go from your graveyard to your hand. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Toy Boat Cost: 3 Type: Artifact Creature — Ship Pow/Tgh: 3/3 Rules Text: Cumulative upkeep—Say "Toy Boat" quickly. (At the beginning of your upkeep, put an age counter on Toy Boat, then sacrifice it unless you say "Toy Boat" once for each age counter on it—without pausing between or fumbling it.) Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Uktabi Kong Cost: 5GGG Type: Creature — Ape Pow/Tgh: 8/8 Rules Text: Trample When Uktabi Kong comes into play, destroy all artifacts. Tap two untapped Apes you control: Put a 1/1 green Ape creature token into play. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Urza's Hot Tub Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: 2, Discard a card: Search your library for a card that shares a complete word in its name with the discarded card, reveal it, and put it into your hand. Then shuffle your library. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Vile Bile Cost: 1B Type: Creature — Ooze Pow/Tgh: 2{1/2}/2{1/2} Rules Text: Whenever a player's skin or fingernail touches Vile Bile, that player loses 2 life. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Water Gun Balloon Game Cost: 2 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: As Water Gun Balloon Game comes into play, each player puts a pop! counter on a 0. Whenever a player plays a spell, move that player's pop! counter up 1. Whenever a player's pop! counter hits 5, that player puts a 5/5 pink Giant Teddy Bear creature token into play and resets all pop! counters to 0. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Wet Willie of the Damned Cost: 2BB Type: Sorcery Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Wet Willie of the Damned deals 21/2 damage to target creature or player and you gain 21/2 life. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: When Fluffy Bunnies Attack Cost: 3B Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Target creature gets -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the number of times the letter of your choice appears in that creature's name. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Who/What/When/Where/Why Cost: Type: Instant Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Who XW Instant Target player gains X life. ----- What 2R Instant Destroy target artifact. ----- When 2U Instant Counter target creature spell. ----- Where 3B Instant Destroy target land. ----- Why 1G Instant Destroy target enchantment. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Wordmail Cost: W Type: Enchant Creature Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: Enchanted creature gets +1/+1 for each word in its name. Set/Rarity: Unhinged common Card Name: Working Stiff Cost: 1B Type: Creature — Mummy Pow/Tgh: 2/2 Rules Text: As Working Stiff comes into play, straighten your arms. When you bend an elbow, sacrifice Working Stiff. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: World-Bottling Kit Cost: 5 Type: Artifact Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: 5, Sacrifice World-Bottling Kit: Choose a Magic set. Remove from the game all permanents with that set's expansion symbol except for basic lands. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Yet Another Ζther Vortex Cost: 3RR Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: All creatures have haste. Players play with the top card of their libraries revealed. Noninstant, nonsorcery cards on top of a library are in play under their owner's control in addition to being in that library. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Card Name: Zombie Fanboy Cost: 2B Type: Creature — Zombie Gamer Pow/Tgh: 1/1 Rules Text: As Zombie Fanboy comes into play, choose an artist. Whenever a permanent by the chosen artist is put into a graveyard, put two +1/+1 counters on Zombie Fanboy. Set/Rarity: Unhinged uncommon Card Name: Zzzyxas's Abyss Cost: 1BB Type: Enchantment Pow/Tgh: Rules Text: At the beginning of your upkeep, destroy all nonland permanents with the first name alphabetically among nonland permanents in play. Set/Rarity: Unhinged rare Magic: The Gathering - Unhinged http://www.magicthegathering.com/ Copyright (c) 1993-2004 Wizards of the Coast